In a report I shared; “8 Biggest Mistakes Women Make When Trying To Address Health & Hormone Challenges,” there was one section that caused the biggest push-back. One of the mistake I highlighted was about the focus and emphasis we often tend to place on labeling a problem or seeking a diagnosis. In the report, I mention that we often seek comfort in doing this, because no one can blame us if we have ____. You know, “It’s not my fault, because I have ____.”
Yeah, that can feel like a real slap in the face, can't it? Especially if you really DO identify with the label or diagnosis and have been using it to explain how you're showing up.
A Universal Mistake
I'll be honest, it’s a mistake I made for a very long time. I was so caught up in seeking a diagnosis for what was going wrong with me that I wasted nearly a decade of actually DOING what I could do to actually improve my condition.
Of course, it seems natural that we'd want to give a name to what ails us so that we can take the appropriate action and that was certainly true for me, but the problem was, I missed YEARS of opportunities where I never considered MY role in what I was experiencing, like how I'd set up (or not!) my behaviors, beliefs, relationships or environments and whether or not they were helping or hurting me when it came to my various symptoms and ailments.
Once I did have my diagnosis, I didn’t address how to correct it. At least not entirely. Instead, I identified with my condition and blamed how I felt, what I was avoiding and how my world was shrinking.
I’m not the only one who does this. I have yet to meet a person who doesn’t. And initially, when you’re in shock, this behavior may be useful to help stabilize you. And certainly, having a diagnosis can be helpful as far as deciding on certain treatments or remedies.
BUT and this is a BIG BUT… if you identify with your condition, and you believe that all the symptoms you have and because of the condition, then you are selling yourself short.
You are wasting time, effort, and money on cures that will never work.
Anyone who has improved and come back from a condition, made changes and paid attention to what was working and what wasn’t. Maybe they didn’t consciously understand what they were doing, but they were consciously addressing making modifications to their behavior, beliefs and even values to bear.
A Case Study
A woman I worked with who was gluten-free for years and knew she couldn’t eat gluten of any amount. She would have violent reactions to even the smallest amount of cross-contamination.
There are lots of reasons why you may want to limit or stop eating gluten, but her belief in needing to be gluten-free bled into her behavior and her values.
Over the course of years, her GI Tract became more and more of a problem. She found herself in surgery to remove a twist in her large intestines, she was losing weight rapidly and found herself weighing less than 100 pounds and dropping.
When she came to me, her inflammation marker was higher than I or any of the medical professional I confer with had ever seen. Her immunity markers were tanked, barely registering. She had gut dysbiosis, an unhealthy microbe balance in your small intestine.
Not going into all that we did, but once she started to focus on what she can do, how she was responding to the world and started challenging her beliefs and values, her behaviors started to change. This change along with supplement and lifestyle protocols, which were easer for her to follow as she worked on her beliefs led her to a full recovery.
Here was a woman in her 70s who had always been heath conscious falling apart in rapid fashion. Once she started to ignore her condition and focused on what was functionally working for her, everything changed.
She’s back to snowboarding, climbing Machu Picchu and more. She’s even having some gluten here and there. She seriously was sensitive to it before, but now that’s she’s healed, has a better understanding of how to respond and identify what’s going on, she is no longer gluten sensitive. (Though, it’s still not an everyday food for her.)
In here case, gluten sensitivity was probably a byproduct of something else, but her belief in her condition caused her to identify with it and her behavior followed – making her condition worse. Initially, removing gluten from her diet was probably the right thing to do, but her belief made her ignore other steps she could have taken.
Six Degrees of Connection
Think of Six Degree to Kevin Bacon, where if you work it out you can make a connection to Kevin Bacon in 6 steps or less, when you think in terms of your body. Everything is connected, even if there isn’t a direct connection you are aware of. And this includes how your think, how you see the world and respond to your environments.
All is connected.
When you identify, or insist on seeking a condition like I did, you ignore what you can do. You ignore the signs, what your subconscious and your body are telling you.
That section may have struck a nerve with you and other readers, but if you take a moment and think about it, I hope you can see the value here.
This is your body, your life, and it’s up to you to make it what you will. You choose, even when you think you are not, what the reality of your health, happiness and success are.
If this makes some semblance of sense, and you’re interested in learning more, I invite you join myself and other women who are putting this into practice. To join us, click on the button below and learn how to Design Oneself.
Adapt, Be Sincere and Experience Joy,